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    October 01

    从没有仔仔的日子-搬家

    仔仔,今天是十一假期的第一天,这是我这段时间所经历的最糟糕的一天。今天我从魏公村搬家到农大附中。真的好舍不得搬走不舍得离开这附近,这么久对这有浓厚的感情。在这高层最重要的是能看见中关村的几栋大楼,如同看见你一样。不过我相信我会很快回来的。我有我们的愿望和梦想。今天一天都在忙碌从早到晚已经一连几天没有睡好觉了,经常从梦中惊醒,有时候不知道为什么就醒了过来。离开你以后我就再也没有睡过一个安稳的觉,变得很轻。就想我们同床的第一夜你对我说,我睡觉好轻好让人不得不去怜悯。我从此失去了安全感。今天朋友一起帮我搬家,我甚至都不知道该做些什么也不知道在想些什么。时而发呆。我好难过,好想把自己封闭起来七天不见任何人,我去接触路上的每一个行人。不论我怎么去做怎样想去避免我才真正知道我是在想你,仔仔妞妞好想你,不知道是晕车还是血糖低的缘故,我下了车没走多远就又像以前晕倒在玉泉路地铁口那样浑身无力呕吐。我好难过,想你想得无法去思考任何事情,想你和你的新的恋人在一起度过每一个小时我的心就好痛好痛。我哭了,我不听的流泪,我从来不知道我是从什么时候开始变的这么爱哭。仔仔今天你过的快乐么,你有偶尔会想起我么。仔仔我亲手缝的小辱子丢了,挂在外面被人偷走了,你不知道我有多么伤心多难过。因为它和我们共同经历了许多故事,每次你带我出去游玩我们都会带着它放在我们的帐篷里。现在它丢了,帐篷里的女主人换了,一切的一切都变了。在你快乐与欢笑的背后我永远都不会再幸福。

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